help me come up with an excuse to buy

these shoes. $80 is a lot of dough and i am cheap, people. do i really need these shoes? i have looked at them several times now, and i feel that the only reason i have not yet been successful in my attmepts at taking over the world is because i don't have these shoes.

they're my fucking lady friends!

exam time does strange things to me. i will do anything to not study. anything. so the other day i was studying and someone i'm sharing a classroom with during exams shows up with this great lunch of steamed rice and tofu stir fry, and i was like "i know, i should go home and cook a healthy lunch! i can go get a rice cooker, steam some brown rice, and stir fry some tofu and veggies! what a great idea!"

so i ran to wally world and tore through that motherfucker guerrilla style--and on a sunday afternoon even, no small task. i bought the $20 rice cooker and had literally the best rice that i have ever made at home. best twenty bucks i ever spent. i know that place is truly evil, but it's really the only option in this lonely outpost.

i saw a w*ells f*argo truck outside the store when i was leaving with my rice cooker, then got back to my car and the guy loading bags into his pickup truck (parked beside me) had a gunrack in his back window with a SHOTGUN on it. there's a great novel or film in there somewhere.

it made me think of my impending trip to crookedletter's state with my (old) lady friend vague. and i wonder if next year we'll have to hold our new year's summit on the west coast. must concentrate on accounting...must not daydream about trip...resist...almost...finished...

two supreme court justices walk into a bar...

tomorow is constitutional law. did i mention it was closed book? as in, we're not even allowed to consult THE FUCKING CONSTITUTION!! i have to essentially memorize the important/relevant parts of the constitution. ridiculous.

also, no fewer than three bathroom stalls are painted with 1L vomit, and it's the weekend, so they'll remain that way until at least tomorrow. gross.

my house is totally filty and i will not have time to clean it or do laundry until friday (and really saturday, cause friday is my last exam with the drinking and the revelry and the hey hey). i have given up the idea of even doing a stopgap load of laundry in favor of going to the dollar store and buying more warm up pants. lazy.

i have subsisted entirely on junk food for the last week. my blood is at least half sodium, and my new nickname could be "puffy," but not in the p. diddy sense. in the water retaining sense. like morgan spurlock in super size me, it is affecting my mood. i have snapped at w, each dog, the cat, the car, and my mom. i have raised my fist to the heavens to curse god(and i don't even believe in jeebus!). surly.

can't talk. must memorize. gahhh.